the panty issue.

i am the mommy of a daughter with a panty issue. my close friends and family know how i have struggled with this, but i feel like i should put it in print, lest i ever forget it. yeah, right! Ellie, my darling, super strong willed, 5 year old daughter potty trained when she was just over 3. "yeah!" we thought, "no more diapers!" and we bought the cute little panties with princessess and butterflies and we thought we had conquered the most challenging of all childhood issues, USING THE POTTY ALL THE TIME! boy were we wrong. about 2 months into wearing panties, we started having issues. "these are too tight" or "i don't like the way those feel" were phrases we began hearing daily. no big deal, i thought, and we'd find a pair of panties that felt good and go on. by now it was summer, and we began having issues with our swimming suits too. she would tug and pull at them, she would beg me to "stretch it out". in july of that year, this was 2 years ago now, we went to texas to my cousins wedding. little did i know i was about to come face to face with the most strong willed child ever known to man, or at least to me! as we got ready for the rehersal, i proceeded to put Ellie in the "super cute april cornell dress" that matched her baby sisters "super cute april cornell dress". i was in mommy heaven with how adorable my 2 precious girls looked until. . . ."i don't wanna wear panties!" ellie was screaming, and i mean SCREAMING, as she yanked off the panties. after an hour of pleading with her, stretching the panties out, threatening her, giving her time outs, and even spanking her, we (and by WE i mean, me, daddy, and grammie!) were at our wits end. and ellie? she was sitting on the floor with a tear stained face, and no panties. she had actually ripped, with her bare hands, RIPPED the panties apart. this is how strong her will is, and it was the first time i realized i had a child who was stronger than me. we caved. we let her go without panties for the next couple of days, vowing to deal with it when we got home. i noticed after we were home that her "parts" were looking kind of irratated. we went to the doctor who told us that she has very sensitive skin, and that any soap, or sweat, or lotion, could cause that. so after years of watching how she reacts, we've figured out how to keep her skin healthy. For the last 2 years we have gone back and forth with the panty issue. we started by substituting pj shorts for panties, we've rewarded and punished, we've had weeks where we were ok with wearing the panties, only to find ourselves battling again. we gave up for awhile taking the "as long as she's covered up, who cares." approach. and then monday night, something in me snapped. Over the last few months i have slowly, but steadily, taken back control of our house from our 5 year old. I have realized that while i'm not naturally a strong willed person, I HAVE TO BE for Ellie's sake. So, i should have seen this coming. i have taken on every other battle she has thrown at me lately, this one was next. and by far, i knew it would be the biggest and most drawn out battle we've ever had. i just had to mentally get myself ready for it. so monday night, i decided that i was ready. it wasn't something i thought through a lot, i just decided, i'm done with this. i don't care if she never leaves this house again, SHE WILL WEAR PANTIES! So, has she worn panties, you ask? YES! This is how monday nights conversation went:
Me: Ellie, i'm about to tell you something and you're not going to like it.
Ellie: What?
Me: Starting tomorrow, you will wear panties, all the time.
Ellie: NO!
Me: Yes. You will wear them all the time, under dresses, skirts, shorts and pants. No exceptions.
Ellie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me: Yes, you will.
Ellie: How about when I'm 6.
Me: No, now.
Ellie: NO, I WON"T AND YOU CAN"T MAKE ME.
Me: Well, you have a choice, you can wear them, and have fun tomorrow at our friends birthday party, or not wear them, and you'll sit in the car with me, while your sister goes in to the party.

ok, so that's enough dialouge, long story short, she wore the panties. she cried, she screamed, she threatened to rip them apart, but at the end, she wore the panties. And she has, every day since. Now, i know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that this is not over. she has yet to wear them under pants or shorts. she has only worn dresses for the whole week. but, i feel good about it. i know how to battle her now. Over the past several months, God has shown me how to handle her. For years I stressed about that. I have read books, I have recieved TONS of advice from well meaning (for the most part) people. I have cried and I have prayed. I have come to many realizations one of which is she is a unique and awesome child. I feel prepared for our future battles, not really looking forward to them, but prepared!