confessions...

Usually I am a good mom.

Sometimes I think I'm even a great mom.

But not lately.

2 days ago, Austin fell out of his crib. My guilt from that is compounded by the fact that, just days before that, I thought...I really need to lower that mattress...and yet, I didn't. In my defense, it was in the next-to-lowest spot. However I just had a feeling...

So, after he fell out Sunday morning, we did the normal checks. Everything seemed to be OK, he didn't fuss when we moved his arms, legs, hands, etc...He didn't have any signs of a concussion. He cried for just a bit, and then wanted down to play. My guilt faded a bit as our day went on.

Oh, and I did lower that mattress as low as it will go.

So, yesterday we had a fun day. Breakfast with friends, then gymnastics with Annie. After gymnastics I was loading the kids into the car, in the rain. I was trying to hurry, so I didn't get soaked. As I was trying to buckle Austin in, he was leaning over towards the inside of the car. I pulled on his arm to get him back into the right position, and then it happened...

I felt something in his arm Pop.

And he screamed.

At first I thought it was temporary, you know how sometimes your joints pop a little, and it hurts just a bit...

Nope.

He cried and cried. Finally I calmed him down a little and got him buckled in, and then he promptly fell asleep as we drove away. So, I was still thinking he was probably fine, but I was concerned. I got really worried when he woke up crying a little later. I was at Jason's shop, and he and I checked out his arm. Every time we moved it he would scream, so off to the doctor we went. Honestly I thought something was broken, as a result of his fall, and that I had just worsened it by pulling on his arm. The x-rays showed no visible fractures though, thank God. He was diagnosed with a condition known as "Nursemaids Elbow." Basically, when I pulled on his arm, I pulled his elbow out of place. Apparently it is fairly common, and once it occurs, it easily happens again. Which means we have to be extra careful until his ligaments get stronger.

We had an OK night. He woke up 3 times, and I gave him Tylenol and Motrin for the pain. He's still sleeping now. What worries me the most right now is that at 6 am, the last time he woke up, I could tell his arm was still hurting. The doctor told us that it should feel a lot better today, and that if he still wasn't using it by noon today, to call him. At 6 am, he wouldn't use it. That makes me worry that something else is wrong...I guess time will tell.

I cannot begin to express how awful I feel. I know, I know, these things happen...blah, blah, blah.

I'll post an update after he wakes up.

Oh, and to top it off, I forgot to play tooth fairy last night.

Ellie lost her third tooth yesterday. This morning as I woke up, I remembered.

I grabbed 4 quarters and went to her room.

She was already awake.

But, By the Grace of God, she forgot to look.

So, when she went potty, I made the switch.

3 minutes later, she remembered.

Whew!

Update:

Austin finally woke up at Noon, and when I walked into his room, he was standing at his crib rail, jumping up and down. My heart immediately felt lighter. Soon after that he was down and playing, and throwing things, and using his arm quite well, with no signs of pain. The day has gone smoothly, and now he's asleep. Honestly, I thought there was something more that was wrong with it, considering that at 6 am, I could tell it was still giving him pain. 6 hours later, he was fine. Call it coincidence, call it whatever, but I feel like God answered my prayers, and made him OK. Thank you all for your kind words. Friends like you are a blessing!