Tuesday, October 9, 2007

confessions...

Usually I am a good mom.

Sometimes I think I'm even a great mom.

But not lately.

2 days ago, Austin fell out of his crib. My guilt from that is compounded by the fact that, just days before that, I thought...I really need to lower that mattress...and yet, I didn't. In my defense, it was in the next-to-lowest spot. However I just had a feeling...

So, after he fell out Sunday morning, we did the normal checks. Everything seemed to be OK, he didn't fuss when we moved his arms, legs, hands, etc...He didn't have any signs of a concussion. He cried for just a bit, and then wanted down to play. My guilt faded a bit as our day went on.

Oh, and I did lower that mattress as low as it will go.

So, yesterday we had a fun day. Breakfast with friends, then gymnastics with Annie. After gymnastics I was loading the kids into the car, in the rain. I was trying to hurry, so I didn't get soaked. As I was trying to buckle Austin in, he was leaning over towards the inside of the car. I pulled on his arm to get him back into the right position, and then it happened...

I felt something in his arm Pop.

And he screamed.

At first I thought it was temporary, you know how sometimes your joints pop a little, and it hurts just a bit...

Nope.

He cried and cried. Finally I calmed him down a little and got him buckled in, and then he promptly fell asleep as we drove away. So, I was still thinking he was probably fine, but I was concerned. I got really worried when he woke up crying a little later. I was at Jason's shop, and he and I checked out his arm. Every time we moved it he would scream, so off to the doctor we went. Honestly I thought something was broken, as a result of his fall, and that I had just worsened it by pulling on his arm. The x-rays showed no visible fractures though, thank God. He was diagnosed with a condition known as "Nursemaids Elbow." Basically, when I pulled on his arm, I pulled his elbow out of place. Apparently it is fairly common, and once it occurs, it easily happens again. Which means we have to be extra careful until his ligaments get stronger.

We had an OK night. He woke up 3 times, and I gave him Tylenol and Motrin for the pain. He's still sleeping now. What worries me the most right now is that at 6 am, the last time he woke up, I could tell his arm was still hurting. The doctor told us that it should feel a lot better today, and that if he still wasn't using it by noon today, to call him. At 6 am, he wouldn't use it. That makes me worry that something else is wrong...I guess time will tell.

I cannot begin to express how awful I feel. I know, I know, these things happen...blah, blah, blah.

I'll post an update after he wakes up.

Oh, and to top it off, I forgot to play tooth fairy last night.

Ellie lost her third tooth yesterday. This morning as I woke up, I remembered.

I grabbed 4 quarters and went to her room.

She was already awake.

But, By the Grace of God, she forgot to look.

So, when she went potty, I made the switch.

3 minutes later, she remembered.

Whew!

Update:

Austin finally woke up at Noon, and when I walked into his room, he was standing at his crib rail, jumping up and down. My heart immediately felt lighter. Soon after that he was down and playing, and throwing things, and using his arm quite well, with no signs of pain. The day has gone smoothly, and now he's asleep. Honestly, I thought there was something more that was wrong with it, considering that at 6 am, I could tell it was still giving him pain. 6 hours later, he was fine. Call it coincidence, call it whatever, but I feel like God answered my prayers, and made him OK. Thank you all for your kind words. Friends like you are a blessing!

8 comments:

dawn said...

Shelley,

Do not be so hard on yourself. We have all been there, you are not alone in all this. I sure hope Austin is better when he wakes up. You are a great mom and don't let this one thing get you down.

Good for you for being a quick thinking tooth fairy. You had a lot on your mind with Austin and all of us forget about the teeth under the pillow from time to time.

It's all gonna be okay. Your friends are here to tell you...we have all been there!

Anonymous said...

aw i know austin will be okay. hey my shoulders have come out of socket before, and i'm still semi-normal. :)
L

Alana said...

Shelley, I am so sorry. I can imagine how you must feel, but you are a wonderful Mom. I hope Austin feels better soon! Please do keep us updated!

Carissa said...

shelley...bless your heart. i am so sorry - sounds like a bad couple of days. do keep us updated. and you really are a great mom! i can just tell!

Janelle said...

Praise God that he feels better. I know what a relief that is for you.

You are a wonderful mom. Patient, kind, loving, fun, giving. Don't ever believe for a second that you are any less than what you were created for. You were made for this moment.

JP's MOM said...

Shelley

you are an AWESOME mom! I look up to you in the way you handle Ellie, now that I am facing similar situations with Ave. You always handle it calmly and collectively.

You ARE NOT TO BLAME!!!

I am sooo glad he is feeling better.

L2 said...

oh shelley i'm so sorry to hear about all of this. diane told me about austin's arm on monday night, but poor thing, falling out of his crib too. i'm so glad to hear that he's feeling all better now!! i know you are being hard on yourself, but know that it could have been any of us putting austin in his car seat and that happen. we all know what a wonderful mother you are!! love you much!!

L2 (hehe...in response to the first L that posted)

Teresa said...

I'm so glad that Austin is feeling better! I talked to your Mamma on Tuesday night after reading your post and was just thrilled! I'm gonna reapeat what several others have already said...you are a great Mommy and try not to hold this against yourself! Missed you on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to giving you a big hug on the 23rd! Love ya!!!!!!