Life on the Edge

I live my life on the edge.

The edge of sanity, the edge of full joy, the edge of sadness.

I teeter precariously,  sometimes leaning far over, one way or the other.

I don't dwell on it much, dwelling won't change anything.

I take action, I plan, I manage. I take joy when I can, deep breaths often, and cry occasionally.

And every so often, I'm able to move a little farther from that edge and breathe a little easier.

This week has been that for me. This week, Camp Grammie week, Marketplace week, has been God sent. My beautiful, wonderful, exhausting children have been with my mother since Sunday evening. I will welcome them home tomorrow, with open arms and a smiling face, and for a little while I will have more patience and more energy. I have had a lot of downtime this week, a massage, quiet time alone in my house, laying in the sun in my pool, and dinner dates with my husband. I have remembered what it's like to not live on the edge. I needed this. Desperately.

I have accepted that my life, with my children will never be easy. I manage them the best I can, and constantly pray for wisdom to make the right choices for them. I try not to complain, and not to ask for too much from others. I feel a tinge of guilt for taking this few days for myself, even though I know it was what I needed. I am blessed immensly by a mother that understands, offers, and takes over my burdens and blessings quite frequently.

I feel refreshed mentally, physically, and emotionally. It may be a year from now when I feel this good again, but right now, in this moment, I feel like I can make it til then.

Thanks, Mom.

Marketplace!

Every Summer the church I grew up going to hosts a Vacation Bible School they call Marketplace. 20 years ago they started building a village from Jesus' time, complete with little shops, a bakery, a well, costumes, and "families." The families are the kids that attend Marketplace, a group of 7 or 8 kids the same age with a "Mom" that guides them through a morning in the village. They get to make fish nets, bake bread, work with leather and pottery, and learn about how people lived then. They also get to visit with real life missionaries, play games, sing songs, and see Bible stories acted out in the village. It's an incredible experience!


When Marketplace started I was 13. I was a "big sister" in a family that year, helping the "Mom" with a group of little kids. In years later I was a "Mom" to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd grade kids, I helped in a shop or two, and I was part of the "Cast" that acted out Bible stories. I helped every year until I got married and moved a couple of towns away.

During those years my cousins would come from Texas and stay with us, and go to Marketplace. We'd have friends that would come too, and often spend the week at my house. My mom was so brave! We'd have 4 or 5 of us spending the week together, doing Marketplace in the morning, and spending our afternoons swimming and playing. For me, as an only child, it was a week of pure excitement, and I loved every minute of it.

It's hard to believe 20 years have gone by. Marketplace has grown tremendously, and this year had around 1200 people! Now it's my kids that attend Marketplace.


This year both girls spent the week at my mom's house. My sweet cousin Lane stayed with mom and the girls, and helped take care of them for the week. They had such a wonderful time doing exactly what I used to do, doing Marketplace every day, and spending their afternoons swimming and playing. Ellie served on the worship team helping lead the worship music at the beginning of every day.


Annie spent her last year in the preschool area, and is so excited that next year she gets to be outside the entire time! Austin will be old enough to go next year also, and I know he'll love it. It's such a special ministry, and I feel so blessed that my kids get to experience God in this special way.


Austin and I spent the week working on the potty training...which we're still working on. :) We did get to join the girls for swimming one afternoon, where the little mister finally worked up the courage to jump off a diving board!!!



I am so blessed by my mom and my cousin Lane. Even with my Grandpa in the hospital, mom still wanted the girls to come and spend the week with her, and Lane made it all possible by staying with the girls at mom's to help whenever mom couldn't. What a great family I have!



PS: All these pics are courtesy of Lane, my brilliant cousin/photographer! Thanks Laney! :)

whooooo hooooooo!!!!!

i'm kid free! well, almost! i've still got austin, but he's pretty easy. the girls have gone to grammie's for, get this, 3 nights! whooooo hoooooo!!! after yesterday. well, let's just say we ALL needed a break from each other. so, the girls are off for summer vacation at grammie's. grammie's church has vacation bible school this week, it's called "marketplace" because the whole thing is set up like a marketplace during jesus' time. it really is incredible, and we've been a part of it for many many years. as i was growing up, my cousin's would always visit from texas for that week and stay with us. the tradition has continued well into adulthood, as this year my 21 year old cousin and her almost 16 year old cousin are staying at mom's this week. it's always been a tradition that all the kids stay at mom's that week and go to marketplace. and so the tradition continue's with my children. ellie will stay all week, with the exception of wednesday night when she'll come home for t-ball. annie will probably come home for good on wednesday since she is still on the young side to go for a whole week. and next year, who know's maybe austin will go for a couple of days too! then i would really be cheering!