Showing posts with label poo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label poo. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The joys of motherhood.

For the past six+ years I have dealt with my fair share of bodily fluids. I have more stories than I can tell, more than I want to tell! It's something that all mommies deal with. It comes with the territory when you have children.

For my friends and family who read this blog, and don't have children, let me just say this...I didn't go into mommyhood ready to deal with the bodily fluids. Just like I didn't go into mommyhood ready to deal with the lack of sleep. I mean, BK (before kids) the thought of dirty diapers and throw-ups freaked me out. I figured they would happen. I'd heard the stories from my own mother. Still, it's just not something that you really want to dwell on, and so you don't. I've heard friends and family say things like...I just don't think I could handle that...What?! Like I did?!

I mean, that would just be wrong!

So like I said, I have stories, OH do I have stories. One in particular comes to mind, but I think I'll wait to share that one next time. Instead I'll tell you about this morning...

I went in to get Austin out of bed. At that moment everything was normal. His diaper was squishy, but not leaking out, so I thought I'd change him in a few minutes, probably after breakfast.

Remember, he's the third.

So I put him down to play and I went to make a healthy and nutritious breakfast of toaster waffles.

Don't judge, remember, I have three.

As they popped up, I went to find Austin and proceeded to try and buckle him into his booster chair.

That's when I smelled him.

Nice.

I went to change him. Normal procedure, lay him down, lay him down again, FORCE him to lay down...I finally got him still by singing Itsy Bitsy Spider. So here I am, singing...

The Itsy Bitsy Spider, climbed up the water spout...unzip pj's...Down came the rain and...where's the diaper?...washed the spider out...what's that big lump down by his foot under his pj's?...out came the sun and dried...OH that's the diaper...up all the rain...UH OH...and the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Did you catch that? The diaper was wrapped around his ankle. And the um...stuff I smelled? Yeah, apparently he did that after the diaper had slid down.

What a nice way to start the morning.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Fate.

I know you ALL thought it.

OH NO SHE DIDN'T! SHE DIDN'T JUST TYPE THAT OUT LOUD! WHAT IS SHE DOING....

"Annie is potty trained!"

NO... SHELLEY...DON'T TYPE IT!

Too Late.

I even knew I was taking fate into mine own hands.

Fate payed me back.

Yesterday at the bewitching hour. You know, the hour from 5-6 when 14 things all need to get done, and because of that, everybody's cranky, and you're not quite on top of your game.

Yeah, that's when fate payed her visit.

Annie needed to go potty, but she didn't want my help. Being the naive mommy that I am, I just thought she was being independent.

Oh No.

Apparently, she had a bit of an accident.

With poo.

And decided to take care of it herself.

When I went in to check on her, this was the scene...

Poo on the potty, poo on her feet, poo on her legs, poo on her bottom, and poo on the floor. With sweet little Annie trying to wipe it up with wet toilet paper.

Oh My.

We got it all cleaned up, and then I realized I was missing one part of the poo puzzle.

Me: Annie, where are your panties?

Annie: I flushed them.

Ah.

Thank you fate, for the reminder.