UGH my blogging silence is killing me! I have started writing about 16 blog posts in the last month, but nothing has stuck. So I'm jumping in, be warned, it may not make sense!
My silence has been caused by many things...Laundry, Dishes, Kids, Doctor's appointments, Exercise, The Real Housewives shows... So I have a LOT to catch up on. Today though, my thoughts are on music.
I love music. I used to always have something playing loudly, then I had kids.
Now they are what's playing loudly.
Lately though, I've rediscovered my love for loudly playing music. While I clean, while I workout, while I drive, when I'm trying to drown out the sound of screaming children...
I was listening to a lot of country and pop, but started turning on the local Christian radio station more and more, because I wasn't loving a lot of the DJ's commentary while my kids were in the car. Not to mention the news reports, yikes.
So I've discovered a few new to me, super awesome songs, that pretty much sum up my life right now.
All things MANDISA. OH my word she is awesome. My favorites of hers:
Shackles: Fun, upbeat, truth. Love the words...
"Everything that could go wrong
All went wrong at one time
So much pressure fell on me
But I know you wanna see
If I will hold on through these trials
But I need you to lift this load
'Cause I can't take it anymore"
Broken Hallelujah: Not upbeat, but so speaks to my heart right now.
"When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks"
So I realize it sounds like I'm going through a lot right now, and that's because I am. We are. I believe with all my heart things are heading in the right direction though, and I will be more specific soon. We are still seeking help and answers for Ellie, and have a fairly good idea of what's going on with her, we're just in the waiting process still. Which brings me to my next song...
"When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
This is gonna make you stronger"
"'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this"
And finally, to wrap up Mandisa's songs...
Waiting for Tomorrow: In all this waiting, I have to remember that I can't put off everything, including taking care of myself.
"Maybe tomorrow I'll start over
maybe tomorrow I will finally change my way
said the same thing yesterday
don't know why I'm so afraid
to let you in to let you win
to let you have all of me
I can't live my whole life wasting
all the grace that I know you've given
Cause you made me for so much more than
sitting on the sidelines
I don't want to look back and wonder
If good enough could have been better
every days a day that's borrowed
so why am I waiting for tomorrow"
So, yeah, big Mandisa fan now!
Another song I am loving is Blessings, by Laura Story. Such beautiful music and lyrics that also speak so strongly to me right now.
"'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"
And finally, Hold us Together, by Matt Maher. Love this song's vibe, and it's message.
"Love will hold us together
Make us a shelter
to weather the storm
And I'll be my brothers keeper
So the whole world will know
That we´re not alone"
I don't know what I would have done without my "keepers" lately. My friends, my family. People I can lean on, cry to, talk to, call to pick up kids. They are what keeps me going. Thank you SO much. I know I'm not alone because of you all.
So like I said, I started turning on the Christian station to avoid the not so great commentaries for the kids. Then I found these great songs, and added them to my playlists. Then one day I noticed Ellie was singing the words to ALL of these songs. These are the words that are getting in her head now, instead of whatever was on the radio before. Wow, count me convicted. I'm not saying I was a bad parent for playing non-Christian music, I'm just saying it really hit me that what's playing in the background really does matter.
I've also noticed that I wake up with these songs in my head, I hum these songs when I'm working, I go to bed with these words on my mind. And my attitude is much better because of it. I've always known that music had a lot of power over me, but somewhere along the road I'd forgotten just how much.
I know this was crazy long, but check out the songs when you have time. Maybe they'll brighten your day too. :)