Sunday, May 8, 2011

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has never worked out well for me.

It's a scramble to do church, wrangle kids, honor my own mother and grandmother, and my mother-in law, deal with insane restaurants, all while supposedly enjoying a special day all about me. (And yes, I realize that being a mother is supposed to be the only gift I should ever need. And that my children are blessings, and that I should want to spend all day just reveling in the wonderousness of them, while doing crafts and making cookies, and birds sing all around us.)


Then there's been our families track record of major illnesses on Mother's Day. On my first Mother's Day, my dad collapsed at church. He's ok, but it was very scary, and we spent the day at the hospital with our sweet 3 month old baby Ellie. Jason's dad went to the hospital last year on Mother's Day weekend, and so Mother's Day for me was watching the kids fight, while Jason spent the day with his mom at the hospital.

Then there was the year I got a Meat Marinator for my Mother's Day present.

And it was three weeks late.

See what I mean? Not so fun.

There have been a few okay Mother's day's in between. But none have ever lived up to the amazing expectations I had when I first found out I was expecting a precious child of my own.

Hmmm...that's interesting. Yet another thing I glamorized in my mind about parenthood. The pattern continues...

So by now, 9 years into motherhood, I've lowered my expectations A LOT. The kids WILL fight, and won't care that it's Mother's Day. They will make messes. My husband will not read my mind. The restaurants will be insane.

(right now my kids are fighting)

Which brings me to this year. So far Mother's Day this year has been...perfect.

Yes, they are fighting, but Jason is handling it. First thing this morning, Austin walked in sweetly and said..."Happy Mother's Day mommy." Then he opened his sweet little hand to reveal a Pandora bead. Precious! A little while later Ellie walked in..."Happy Mother's Day mommy." I looked up and smiled and hugged her, and then finally realized (after she stood there grinning for 2 full minutes) that she had a beautiful silver necklace around her neck. So sweet! Then Jason gave me a box with this...

An original Lisa Leonord necklace! My friend has one that I've loved for a long time. I heard about her through a blogger friend, and awhile back I was window shopping on her website. Then I saw a cool option where you can create your perfect piece, and then send an email to a loved one as a "suggestion". So I did. But honestly I figured that Jason wouldn't give it the time of day. I assumed it went directly into his spam folder, or he'd think he'd rather find something on his own. Then I promptly forgot all about it, which is pretty typical of my tired mommy brain.

Back to this morning, when my sweet Annie woke up, she also came to me and said sleepily..."Happy Mother's day mommy", and in her hand was another Pandora bead!

Yay me!!!

Don't judge. Remember...Meat Marinator.

Now Ellie has made me breakfast, and I'm sitting at my computer with my coffee. Ahhh...

Honestly the whole weekend has been good.

Yesterday was Super Soccer Saturday. Annie had two games, Austin had two games, and both kids had soccer pictures. Jason had to work, but he blessedly took Ellie with him, while I wrangled the two soccer players at the soccer field for 6 1/2 hours. Whew! We made it though, and overall I was THRILLED with how well Annie and Austin handled the day. It did help tremendously when Aunt Michelle showed up at the perfect time to lend a hand and watch a soccer game for awhile.

Soccer Cousins! Annie, Elaina, and Austin!

Then last night our favorite babysitter came, and we had dinner with Chris and Michelle and Jason's parents. We had a beautifully peaceful dinner after a crazy long day. So nice!

This afternoon I am spending some time with my sweet mother. Where I assume there will be some shopping involved. Yay! :)

For now I sit here and did everything go so well this year? What has changed?

A lot.

After 9 years, Jason has come to read my mind a little. Or maybe he's learned from a few "off" years, a few shed tears, a few selfish rants, a few interesting gifts...and this year, this year he made up for it all. It means the world to me that he helped the kids honor me. I love you sweetheart!

After 9 years, my expectations have lowered. I live in reality, not in fantasy, and it's amazing what a difference that makes.

After 9 years, my kids have grown up a lot. They have moments where they actually appreciate me sometimes, and they mean it when they say, "Happy Mother's Day".

So, this year? Best Mother's Day ever!

So for you mommies of 3 years, or 5 years, who are frustrated today at your kids and your husband for not flippin' GETTING IT...there's hope! Hang in there!

Or you mommies of 0 years, with your precious babies in your bellies still (Lane, Lauren), remember this...

Mother's Day will not be perfect. This year you may have expected your sweet husbands to lovingly give you a gift, as you are a mother already! (And if they did you can stop reading now. But if they're anything like Jason, the thought never even crossed their minds.) And they won't. Next year they may not either, since "You're not MY mother". Yes, you may hear those words. (I did.) The next year your kids will disappoint you. And on, and on... My prayer is that at least you won't get a Meat Marinator. But again, hang in there. After 9 years your kids, and your husband may finally get it right.

And then you will truly appreciate it.

Happy Mother's Day!


Josh and Lane Whitlock said...

This was such a sweet post Shelley!!! I cried. Thanks baby hormones.

Your necklace is beautiful and I bet those beads are the perfect addition to your collection. WAY TO GO JASON! But more importantly, great job Jason for teaching the kiddos how to honor their momma. Our sermon today was all about why and how to raise our children to honor us an honor God. Your children love you so much Shelley, even in those moments you feel they don't. You're a WODERFUL momma...and cousin!!! Love you!

Ps: About 5 minutes before leaving for church Josh said, "It's Mother's Day today?" At that point I knew I wouldn't get anything or even told happy 1st mommas day. ;-) Oh well!

JP's MOM said...

Big Guy ate my mother's day breakfast, right in front of me. Saying nummy nummy the whole time.


Jamie said...

I had an off year this year. Thankfully my expectations have been low since our first Easter when I got Josh a basket full of candy and he got me...nuthin'. I am older and wiser now. So glad you had a good day.

Alana said...

Love this post! It really does get better. My boys are really starting to get it! The necklace is awesome, way to go J! :-)