Famous Fights

Cats vs. Dogs

David vs. Goliath

Rocky Balboa vs. Apollo Creed

Mommy vs. Ellie

That last one was a doosie.

Yesterday morning Ellie decided she wasn't going to school.

And the battle began.

She wasn't going without a fight. She screamed, she cried, she swung her arms and kicked her legs. After a five day break (two snow days, two weekend days, and one sick day), she decided she didn't need school. Somehow I convinced her to get dressed. But that's where the cooperation ended. I had to encourage (aka: threaten) her to get in the car. We finally made our way down the driveway, and headed towards school.

She was still screaming.

She informed me, through her screaming, that I couldn't MAKE her go to school. I couldn't MAKE her get out of the car. She wasn't going ANYWHERE!

Honestly, I got a little scared. How was I going to make her? I started praying.

After a while, I mentioned that she might want to eat the waffle that I'd brought her.

She did.

Then it came to me. My incentive.

You see, she's a very unique child. Spanking doesn't really work with her. Taking toys away sometimes works, but not when she's this determined. Yelling at her only makes her madder. Reasoning works...when she's being reasonable. I had to find something to cut through her rage. It had to be a serious consequence, something that would really matter to her.

Money.

We've tried this before, but she's just now really understanding the concept of money. She got quite a bit for her birthday, and she was very excited about it. She's only bought one thing so far. Spending most of her time planning how to spend it.

So, I took some of her money. One dollar for every minute she had screamed at me.

$26.

She looked at me in utter disbelief, when I told her.

Then she cried.

Then she calmed down.

Then we talked.

Then we hugged.

Then she went to school.

She was exhausted when I picked her up. She went to bed early on her own. She needed me to lay down with her, to hug her.

This morning she was happy. She was sweet, loving, and caring.

And so it goes.

We do this every now and then. Have a massive battle of the wills. They drain me. They make my heart ache. But for her, they seem almost necessary. She needs to challenge me, to battle me. She needs to know that I am still her rock. That my love, my rules, my discipline are steadfast. All children do this. Test us. Her testing is just more extreme than most. I found a blessing in all of this though. Last night when we talked things over some more, I realized that WE were talking. Not just me, we. It used to be a one-way conversation. Now she is able to communicate better, to understand herself better. And that is a huge blessing.

I know this is something that we'll deal with for awhile. What we battle over will change, the type of discipline will change, but we'll still battle. I thank God for the wisdom He provides me during these times. He never fails to whisper the right idea in my ear. I read this on Renee's blog last night, and took it to heart. Thanks Renee, for the great perspective. Most of all, thank you God for helping me stay strong.